I talked to Joyinmyheart last night and she quickly set me straight on a few things. Girlofmydreams did the same in a message she left at my virtual doorstep this morning. It still hurts when I read about her with someone else, but I know that she still loves me, and that she won’t dump me any time soon.

I guess you’ve probably figured out that I’m a pretty insecure little bugger. Girlofmydreams calls it my Quasimodo syndrome. LOL! It’s pretty funny but she’s probably right. I’ve had marginal self esteem for most of my life – in relationships, the way I look, and just my own ability to interact with people. Now I look at pictures of myself when I was 25 years old and would give anything to look like that again. hehe

Anyway…I just have to deal with my feelings. It’ll be difficult but if I just keep her happiness in mind, I’ll be OK.

I won’t be dropping the diary any time soon, either. I actually need it more than I thought. There are tons of little conversations that go on in my head and they need to come out somewhere. The diary has been a Godsend for me that way. So I’ll keep posting here, partly for me but also for her. I can’t help that. She and my diary are all part of the same package. It’s where we met, it’s where I fell in love with her, and it’s where I can talk to her…from any point on the globe.

Speaking of which…This will be my last post before leaving for Ecuador. I’ll be back in two weeks. I wish you all the best and, to my favourites, I love you all. To Joyinmyheart, I’ll miss you very much and I love you deeply. To Girlofmydreams…you’ve heard it all from me before. I wish nothing less than the very best for you.

See y’all in a couple of weeks

Arc