Last weekend, I came home from the city by train. I was expecting the usual. Luvofmylife would be there to pick me up at the station and we’d take the 20-minute drive home. I was looking forward to that because I was pretty whacked from a long grueling week.

Instead, when I got off the train, she was standing beside a new Ford Focus. We don’t have a Ford Focus. So I’m thinking she got bored and bought a new car…that’s not like her. Then I saw my brother-in-law pop out of the driver’s side of the Ford.

DOH!

That can only mean one thing. My sister-in-law’s in the passenger seat.

If you’ve ever watched “Keeping up Appearances”, you’ll know what I’m talking about. My sister-in-law IS Hyacinth Bucket (Bouquet). The woman is evil. She’s a princess and an intolerably insecure social climber.

She’s also Luvofmylife’s twin. That is, they were born at the same time. However, there couldn’t be two more different people. Luvofmylife got all the goodness and SIL got all the evil. She’s loud, overbearing, rather stupid, materialistic, demanding….agh! I’m running outa’ breath.

So as I’m walking toward the Focus in slow motion, I’m thinkin’ “Ugh, I’m not getting’ laid this week”.

We lumbered off to our favourite restaurant and had a reasonably civil visit there and then we went home. Gadz, I had so much to do last weekend. The lawn had grown so high we could’ve held jungle maneuvers in the back yard. We needed to get ready for a pool party we were holding for Luvofmylife’s theater cast on Sunday. And the friggin’ lawn tractor wouldn’t start. The last thing I needed were relatives.

We were having a pretty descent conversation around breakfast. However, SIL fancy’s herself as a “political junkie”. She really hasn’t got a clue. But she loves to hobnob with well-known politicians so she can drop names in conversation. She’ll say something like, “When I was in Halifax last week I was standing in the lobby and (some local nabob) came over to tell me how much he liked my speech.” This is where someone’s supposed to say, “What speech?” I never respond to statements like that knowing full well that she’s gonna tell me anyway. Sure enough, after a long enough pause, she twists in her seat making an expression that maybe she’d forgotten something crucial, apologizes for that, and proceeds to recount the mind numbing details of said speech. Uuuuuughghghgh! That’s sooo irritating.

Anyway, we dumped the in-laws at a winery on Saturday, I got laid, SIL and hubby left Sunday morning, the neighbour cut our grass and the party was a success.

I’ll do a separate entry on the party.

Arc