Both Buddycee and (let�s call him Jock) Jock are about my age�late forties�so we all have a lot to talk about when it comes to hospitals. The older you get, the more often you go. Buddycee has been feeling sick for over a week now and Jock�s been at it for a couple of months - Nausea and general discomfort. Buddycee has gone to the hospital and Jock's been there countless times.

So we�re commiserating. While men like to put on a tough act, when it comes to illness we�re just big �fraidy-cats. We tend to ignore physical malfunctions until they come up and bite us in the ass. If it ain�t leakin�, there�s nothing wrong. Even if it is, we�ll deny it.

But these two guys are past denial. Jock�s going on about tests they do for cancer and growths and everything. I guess the last time he was �in�, they went in with a tube and camera both down his throat into his stomach AND up his rectum at the SAME TIME. Yikes! He described the procedure in painful detail. First they put a paper gown over him and had him disrobe. Then he had to bend over, exposing his bare behind in a particularly humiliating manner (anybody ever use a Turkish toilet? Well it�s just like that) and then they shoved a long flexible tube up there with a camera on the end. Say cheese! * shudder*

Then he told us about a previous test where they blast a quart (slight exaggeration but I�m sure it felt like that to Jock) of Barium solution up his butt to take (I guess) x-rays. They kept telling him to hold it in while making him roll from side to side. At one point, they had him lay on his back and they tilted the table up. So jock went sliding down the incline and crashed at the bottom�releasing the milky fluid.

Yyyiiii�I guess the stuff just blew out of him like water out of a fire hose and got all over the place. Pretty em-bare-ASS-ing, don�cha think?

Then when Buddycee started talking about prostates, we all cleared the room.

I don�t even try to be macho, but I think I can take a lot of pain. It�s just that I don�t really want to check out a problem unless I think I have one. I�ve paid for that attitude a few times in the past. So, even though I�d rather be dragged through glass, naked, by a team of horses than to see a doctor about anything, and all that talk about tubes and stuff makes me absolutely cringe, I think I�ll have myself checked out, �cause if I don�t, it could kill me.

Arc