ARCASHA

H E G



Remember that time...?

June 22, 2002 - 14:48

Everyone, at one time or another, does something or something happens to them that becomes the stuff of legend. At least once in their lives! I�m not talking about a major legend like the story of Robin Hood or anything. I�m just referring to those stories of an event that lives on into local mythology. Stories that are told by friends and acquaintances decades after they happened. They�re stories that have a life of their own, that become woven and molded and expanded upon with each telling.

For example, I used to work at a radio station in a small city on the Canadian Prairies during the mid-seventies. We had a manager of operations who was pretty old school. He thought you managed your staff the way the military commanded its troops. Well, we were the younger generation, children of the sixties, boomers. That wasn�t going to work with us.

A guy I�ll call Bob (�cause that�s his name but there are so many Bobs in the world that it�s friggin� near impossible to pinpoint which one) had been working there for about a year. He was a technician who wore grotty jeans and T-shirts, was about six and a half feet tall with shoulder blade length stringy hair, and rode a Harley. He was a good guy but he had a mean temper.

One day as Bob was walking into the building, Manager-Guy walked up to him, red in the face, and started chewing him out for his appearance. This went on for about five whole minutes. In the end, there were a few seconds of silence and then Bob said, "Who the fuck are you?"

Trust me. I was there. The shit hit the fan but nothing really came of it. Served Manager-Guy right for hiding in his office all the time.

A few months later for no reason directly connected to this event, Manager-Guy was out on his ass and Bob was still there in his jeans picking his teeth with a switchblade.

You can go to that station in that town today and still hear that story told. Only now, after Bob told Manager-Guy to "fuck off" (note the slight change?), Manager-Guy threw a fit and got into a fist�fight with Hells-Angels-Bob who promptly had him killed on the weekend at his cottage.

And the legend lives on...

I�ve done a lot of things that have become part of history � mostly related to massive consumption of alcohol. This may surprise some of you. If you read this diary at all, you know what a boring life I lead. However, I've had my moments - embarrassments, mostly. Here�s one of many Arc-legends.

Luvofmylife and I lived and worked together for a good six months before we were married. We each had our own place but we were always with each other. It made us feel like we slept around. It was fun. Since we also worked together, however, we slept together while we were on the road. That was way fun.

One time, we were working our company�s music festival in a small northern city away from home. We�d set up camp in a pretty nice hotel for a couple of weeks. After each gig, though, we�d go somewhere with some of the talent and Producer-Guy to a bar or someone�s room to tip a few tumblers. Well, one night, we went to a bar and I just had one too many glasses of Scotch. It was my drink of choice back then and I liked it straight and peaty. I liked to taste the dirt in my mouth.

Luvofmylife, a rather slight little woman at the time, literally had to carry me into the hotel room. Actually, since it was early in our relationship, we could get horny and fuck in any condition at any time at the flip of a switch. She ripped my clothes off and rode me �til she came. I was too pissed to reciprocate and fell asleep soon after.

Well, that�s not the legend. As Luvofmylife was laying on the bed beside me (had to be an hour after I'd nodded off), wondering, I�m sure, what the hell she was doing with such a deadbeat, I suddenly shot up and started to walk around the room. I was buck-naked! And I was heading for the door to the main hallway of the hotel. She just stared at me. As I placed my hand on the doorknob, she said, "What are you doing?". I mumbled something like, "Gguutthhbuthrmmm". Roughly translated, "Going to the bathroom". Well, she slowly got up, took me bye the hand and led me to the real bathroom. What a sweetie, eh?

I don�t think I�ve ever sleepwalked before or since that event and I�m pretty sure that time was purely alcohol induced, but I could still be walking naked the halls of that hotel had she not been awake. Those doors lock automatically as you leave the room.

You can still find people in that company from coast to coast that will tell you that story. Only I actually did walk out of that room, Luvofmylife let me because she was so disgusted with me, I pissed on the carpet in the hallway, and I�m supposed to have awakened there, naked, in front of an older couple who were screaming in terror at the sight of me.

Sheeesh!

I got your legend right here.

Arc

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