But I'm losing them. It was only a matter of time really.

As happy as I am for them, I'm feeling simply awful for me. When I read Girlofmydreams' diary these days, I actually hurt � a profound hurt. I hate myself for feeling this way but I can't seem to control it. God knows I've tried. So, this place, this diary has become a source of pain for me.

I'm off to South America on Monday morning. I'll be back in a couple of weeks. I may come back to this diary. I may not. I'll just have to see how I feel.

Arc