I talked to Joyinmyheart last night and she quickly set me straight on a few things. Girlofmydreams did the same in a message she left at my virtual doorstep this morning. It still hurts when I read about her with someone else, but I know that she still loves me, and that she won�t dump me any time soon.

I guess you�ve probably figured out that I�m a pretty insecure little bugger. Girlofmydreams calls it my Quasimodo syndrome. LOL! It�s pretty funny but she�s probably right. I�ve had marginal self esteem for most of my life � in relationships, the way I look, and just my own ability to interact with people. Now I look at pictures of myself when I was 25 years old and would give anything to look like that again. hehe

Anyway�I just have to deal with my feelings. It�ll be difficult but if I just keep her happiness in mind, I�ll be OK.

I won�t be dropping the diary any time soon, either. I actually need it more than I thought. There are tons of little conversations that go on in my head and they need to come out somewhere. The diary has been a Godsend for me that way. So I�ll keep posting here, partly for me but also for her. I can�t help that. She and my diary are all part of the same package. It�s where we met, it�s where I fell in love with her, and it�s where I can talk to her�from any point on the globe.

Speaking of which�This will be my last post before leaving for Ecuador. I�ll be back in two weeks. I wish you all the best and, to my favourites, I love you all. To Joyinmyheart, I�ll miss you very much and I love you deeply. To Girlofmydreams�you�ve heard it all from me before. I wish nothing less than the very best for you.

See y�all in a couple of weeks

Arc