The yard was like a huge park. We, the kids, were only allowed to stay outside to play in the yard. I was all dressed up in my navy blue blazer that day. It was late spring and the grass was green and the sun was out and it was the perfect place for a boy that age. I was always a bit more passive than the others so I just sat in one of my uncle�s Adirondak chairs to watch the ships go bye. I�d never seen ships before, let alone this close. I remember how surprised I was at how fast something that big could move.

Later in the afternoon, we were all herded in for dinner. It was then that I first met my Aunt Marie, August�s wife.

I remember being slightly afraid of her for a while. She had this look of terror on her face. Yet she seemed completely detached from what was going on around her. I think I was staring at her because I caught my uncle examining my reaction out of the corner of my eye. Her arms were floating around like ribbons blowing in a light breeze and she was whispering something incoherent. I guess I found this funny because I started to laugh and giggle as if she were a clown who was trying to entertain me.

Then she let out a blood-curdling howl that scared the crap out of me. I looked over at my uncle who softly came over to comfort her and then, when the fuss had died down, he came over to me to tell me that Aunt Marie was very sick and that she hadn�t meant to frighten me.

That was the only time I�d ever seen her. She died not long after. Much later in life, I was told that she�d had Alzheimer�s and that her disease had taken many years to work it�s way through.

A couple of years ago, Luvofmylife and I were visiting her twin sister in her small prairie city home. SIL knows a lot of people and they tend to just drop in unannounced. That�s OK because that�s the way SIL likes it.

One afternoon, one of her friends dropped bye for coffee. She was a paramedic. She told us some horrific stories about some of the things they come across in her line of work. Just ghoulish stories!

She told us about one call they took in one of the older parts of town. As they walked up the front step, they almost needed to put on gas masks, the stench was so strong. They rapped on the door for a long time but eventually had to force their way in. In the middle of the living room, sat an old man in his housecoat. He was completely incoherent and unaware of his surroundings. The place was a mess. Old food on the floor, the hallways were stacked with old books and newspapers. There was filth spread out all over the place.

When they got to the bedroom, they found the remains of the man�s wife who had apparently died of natural causes, or neglect, weeks before.

The paramedic told us his name. All this time, Luvofmylife had been sitting quietly in the corner. Then she asked, in a whisper, �Was that Dr. so-and-so?� The paramedic said, �Yes!� Still in a whisper, �He was my music theory prof in university. He was brilliant and probably the best prof I ever had.� She had a tear in her eye.

Her professor had Alzheimer�s

Last night, we rented �Iris�. It stars Dame Judy Dench as author and philosopher, Iris Murdoch. It also stars my darling Kate - Kate Winslet as a young Iris and features an incredible performance by Jim Broadbent as the older Iris� husband. The film depicts how a brilliant and vibrant woman grows into an influential figure in public life. Then, in her later years, gradually she contracts Alzheimer�s. This movie shows the slow deterioration of her mind, of her faculties and of her life in an amazingly unaffected way.

In the end, however, it�s a love story. It�s about the unlikely union of two people. It�s about their complete devotion to each other. It�s about a man who loves his wife unconditionally.

As I watched that man weep for his wife, I thought about my uncle�s comforting words to my aunt and then to me. I thought about the tear in my wife�s eye that day on the prairie.

Arc