She got me thinking, as she�s wont to do, about my sense of friendship. She says �I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was 12�. I can�t really say that.

I guess I was a lot more like her when I was younger. I had close friends when I was a kid but they came and went as I went through different phases in my life. I can�t say that any of them stand out in my memory any more than any of my other friends later in life.

I�ve moved around this country a fair amount. As I�ve moved from one city to another, my friendships from previous locations have generally faded away. It�s not like I�ve pushed them away or anything. It�s just that when I leave, I leave it all.

I think I�ve said in the past that I don�t make friends easily. Well, that�s true. I tend be pretty guarded about relationships of any kind. But when I do make friends, on those rare occasions, I get really clingy. That�s not everyone�s cup of tea and, funnily enough, I pretty much reject people that are like that.

Luckily, I married my best friend who didn�t mind that in me. I did date a friend who became a long-term relationship. Again, I didn�t push her away but I moved to a job thousands of miles away and let the relationship fall into nothing. I actually thought I loved her. Turned out it was more like the Stockholm Syndrome. I was more like her prisoner.

But I digress.

All that to say that my most lasting and memorable friendships happened in my adult life and, at that, pretty much in my mid-20�s. Luvofmylife is one and Buddybee is another.

While we drift in and out of each other�s lives, Buddybee is someone I can absolutely rely on to keep in touch. He�s always there when I need him. I know that if some tragedy befell me, he�d, without a doubt, be there for me.

But that�s it. Well it�s not, actually. There are rare friendships that come once in a blue moon, if they come at all, that are absolutely precious. I had that and, through my own insecurity, ruined it. I still count her as one of my dearest friends�

Well, I won�t go any farther down that road since I promised not to whine any more.

I�m pretty sure she doesn�t even read me any more but ��oops!

WHINE ALERT!

I have lots of friends at work � mostly women. I think people generally like me although I�m not sure why. If they don�t, it�s not all that evident to me. But work friends are different. You can be pretty close to those people but it�s only because we�re pushed together by circumstance. I don�t know why, but I always distrust those friendships. Maybe I�m just afraid to get too close.

Anyway, I�ve run into the occasional childhood friend, and it�s always been a huge let-down. I find that we almost never have anything in common. My sister�s husband was a friend of mine in my teens. I see him quite often, obviously. But we now have absolutely nothing on which we can find common ground.

So, no! I can�t say that I pine for my childhood friends.

But that�s just me.

Arc