Luvofmylife and I used to live in Winnipeg � or Winterpeg in some circles. We lived there for eighteen years and I never got used to those long cold winters. It�d start in mid-October and go till mid April � cold, snowy and windy. Around the Christmas holidays, the temperature would drop to �30C. That�s around �20 Fahrenheit. That�s so cold that the flat spot under your tires, after your car�s been sitting around for a while, stays that way. So you have square tires for a while.

We�d call that a cold snap because if you weren�t carful, your limbs could snap off. A cold snap would generally last till mid-January.

It�s fuckin� inhumanly cold.

Well, I guess Winnipeg weather is a bit warmer lately but it�s still friggin� cold. (friggin�s just a milder version of fuckin�)

So�a couple of days ago, I�m sitting in my back yard in shirtsleeves and enjoying the warm country air. We live in a 60 year-old farmhouse in the country. Our lot is a little over half an acre in size and we have one neighbour on our left and a couple across the road. The rest of the place is surrounded by vineyards. This is one of Canada�s two major wine regions. It�s actually very picturesque � and with this weather�

So I�m sittin� there, reading a book. The birds, the few that are left, are still chirping. You can still hear cars and trucks in the distance but bye and large, it�s pretty quiet. Ahh, the country life.

Then I hear T�s lawn tractor start up. I swear to God that guy measures each blade of grass and if just one of them gets too long, he fires that thing up. Well, it�s not so bad. His machine�s fairly quiet. It�ll take him most of the day because he double mows his whole yard just to get the right pattern. So it�ll just be a dull moan after a while.

Hello !!! There goes M with his homemade weed-wacker. That contraption is the size of a racing outboard motor with a nylon whip on the end. He could cut the doors off a car with that thing. He�s got some kind of high performance exhaust pipe that makes it even louder.

And what�s this�the flying club is out doing maneuvers in their bi-planes or motorized hang gliders or whatever they are.

It�s like fuckin� Pearl Harbour out here !!

Take me back to the big city�Puleeeze !