I�m writing this from the asshole of the world � Miami airport. I�m gonna post stuff about this trip in my other journal. You can check out all my whining about that over there.

I miss Maddy like a fish out of water�misses water. I�m not sure how that saying goes, actually. I don�t feel that way just because I�m traveling but because I can�t read her any more. Her journal has been my rock for almost a year. I adore her writing because it makes me feel things I�ve never felt before. She�s made me feel good about myself. And I love hearing about her everyday self. It makes me feel close to her.

So now, because she�s got someone in her life, I can�t read her any more. I hate that. She�s actually been tempering her entries in consideration of my feeling. That�s how absolutely wonderful she is. But I don�t want her to do that. It�s just not right.

I hate that I haven�t got the strength of character to accept some happiness in her life. I hate that I�m that selfish. But I am.

Dammit, I miss her.

Arc